I try to write humorous things. unfortunately, most of my writing tends to be on the depressing side. With a little bit of whine, diarrhea of the mouth and some sarcastic self defeating words.
I want to be a writer, publish novels. So I try to challenge myself in my writing styles. Write about different things, strange subjects. someone at my writers group encouraged me to write something that was very difficult for me. It was embarrasing. I read all these romance novels. But, every time that I even went that direction with writing, I immediately got embarrassed and couldn’t write any more. He laughed at me. Why should writing a scene about someone eating an apple be any different than two people making love? Uh, shit I dunno. Cause I don’t like describing things with the words most books use. They make me laugh.
Yesterday, I read an entire book in 2 hours. When I was done, I was angry with myself for not making the book last longer. But I also felt a sense of failure. The author’s writing style was so different from mine, and I felt inferior. Then I thought about what was suggested to me to write. So I sat down in my office chair and wrote it. I wrote a sex scene. It was much easier that I thought. For some reason, I was able to put aside the blocks I had set up about writing. I don’t know if I will ever let anyone read it. But it is a start, right?
Even though I don’t intend to write romance novels, I feel like I made a step towards knocking down some of the mental blocks I have set up about writing. I feel accomplished, and I like that. Next step? I dunno. I don’t think I’ll be submitting anything to Hustler magazine though. 
